More Than A Memory
by Fiera Sabre
Summary: Songfic set after Vala rings through the supergate in s.9. Daniel's side only, but very angsty. Just a oneshot, if yall want a continuation you'll have to tell me, and you might not even get it then unless you beg! Song by Garth Brooks.


**More Than A Memory—sung by Garth Brooks**

**Rating: Early T and up, for some slightly darker themes.**

**Pairings: Daniel/Vala **

**Genre: Angst/songfic**

**A/N: So after I heard this song on the radio for the first time, I immediately thought it would be perfect for a DV shippy angst thing, so I had to wait until I could get the song and listen to it lots so I could write the fic in order. Sorry if the chars are a bit OOC—I really wanted to go with the overall theme of the song. Anyways, this is my DV interpretation of the song. Thanks for reading, and remember to review!!**

**--Fee**

Daniel couldn't stop thinking about her, even if he wanted to, which he supposed he didn't really. Vala had destroyed the supergate, and he didn't even know if she was alive. He'd even gotten so used to her constant presence that there was always an empty spot on his desk so that if she happened to walk in and sit on it one day she wouldn't crush anything important. Every time he heard a woman laugh he always looked over to see if it was Vala. He might catch a glimpse of raven hair disappearing around a corner, and he would have to remind himself that Vala wasn't here anymore.

He couldn't help but remember how he snapped at her all day long, but when evening came they had shared many a precious moment laughing uncontrollably over some little thing that probably wasn't funny in the first place. Since she'd gone through the supergate he hadn't laughed once. Some of his fellow archaeologists had sympathized and told him it would just take time to heal, it would take time to laugh again. But Daniel knew better.

Some even had the nerve to think that it was good riddance to bad rubbish, they were glad Vala was gone, and told him as much. Said that he should just pick himself up and move on with his life. They obviously didn't realize what he was going through.

Daniel would periodically scroll through various lists of gate addresses, hoping that one would jump out at him and it would be where they would find her. Sometimes he would imagine them dialing a planet, but always just before he got to the seventh symbol, Daniel would stop himself and try to get his brain back on task.

He would drive to his apartment in town and get random urges to drive as fast as he could back to the SGC to see if Vala had come back through the gate with some wonderful story of escape to tell him, but every time that happened he had to remind himself that she was probably in the Ori galaxy and it would be impossible for her to get back here without the use of a supergate.

Daniel had had several midnight breakdowns when he called Jack and dumped on him about everything. Jack had always been understanding of his best friend's predicament, and although he never met Vala personally, he seemed to innately know what Daniel was going through.

When he worked late into the night, and sometimes into the early mornings, he knew he was just putting off sleep, because when he did he was assaulted by nightmares about what could happen to her, and assuaged by guilt over letting her go. No, he couldn't just let go of her and move on, because right now, she was more than a memory. She was a real person, whom he cared about more than he'd ever admitted.

General Landry had asked him to clear out Vala's room at the SGC, and to take care of her personal belongings. He had been surprised to find a whole stack of journals hidden away in a box beneath her bed. Daniel had sat there for hours, just reading about everything in her life from when she was ten to her possession as a host, and after the Tok'ra removed the symbiote, where she'd gone from then. There were unspeakable horrors in her past, and small joys too. She'd admired him and his dedication to his work. She also made several rather risqué observations about his physique, that managed to make him blush even without her presence. Daniel reverently packed up Vala's journals and stored them in his room on base. That was actually where most of her belongings went. He asked Sam to take care of her clothes for him, because he didn't trust himself to not hide it all away in his room just in case she came back.

As Daniel surveyed the nearly empty room, he noticed that there were pictures tacked to the wall. How she'd managed that, he wasn't sure, but looking at them made his heart ache in a way it hadn't in some time. There were several pictures of the two of them that had obviously been taken when neither was looking. One was of him glaring fiercely at her, and her silent reply was a smug grin. The other was their faces barely an inch apart from touching, their eyes much softer in that moment. He realized that it had been taken just after they had finished shouting at each other. They'd been standing nose-to-nose shouting heatedly, when they'd simultaneously run out of argument and noticed their sudden proximity. Daniel wished he'd taken a chance and kissed her then.

As weeks passed by, Daniel found himself having conversations with empty rooms, his words echoing off the blank walls, and drew the conclusion that he missed her constant chatter and was trying to make up for it's lack. He knew Sam was concerned—she'd walked in on him several times, but he evaded her questions and tried to get by. Sleep deprivation and heartache played havoc with his appearance, and it was not an uncommon occurrence to see him shuffling down the hallways with his hair mussed and a scruffy beard growing on his jaw.

More and more often Daniel would slink off to some dark bar and drink himself out of his misery, which never took long because he'd never been much of a drinker. Once he'd nearly accepted a prostitute's offer of her services if only to distract himself for a time, but he'd come to his senses when he noticed that she had short blond hair that reminded him too much of Sam's, and wandered off by himself.

Late one evening, he broke down and cried at home, and begged to whatever gods were listening to just please bring Vala back. Right then he didn't care about much else, and he knew in his heart that she would always be more than a memory, and he would do whatever it took to make that come true.

People said she was only in his head, that it would take time to laugh again.

Daniel refused to believe them.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Stargate related or pertaining to Garth Brooks. I'm not making money off this. I just get inspired by things and have to write them down…**


End file.
